Marriage, beyond being a sacrament, is also a profession in some respects. Could
you imagine a medical student not taking his studies seriously because he thinks
that his love for the profession is all that matters? Some couples will approach
their marriage preparation in the same light. They won’t take it seriously
because they think their love for one another is all that really matters.
Our society does not require a strict period of preparation
before marrying. Anyone that meets the legal requirements is entitled to get
married. We know that our society is filled with broken marriages. Some of these
broken relationships were unavoidable. No one, for example, is obligated to stay
married to someone who is abusive or dangerous.
Yet other broken relationships are not the result of abuse or
danger, but the result of a lack of skills, understanding, and knowledge. This
is tragic because many of these couples truly loved one another. Their love, for
example, turned to hurt because they did not know how to have a healthy argument
and instead always ended up degrading one another. These broken and tragic
breakups could have been avoided if only they acquired certain skills and
knowledge.
Your love is like a seed. It is good and holy. In order for
this seed to grow to maturity, it needs to be planted in some healthy soil. Your
skills and knowledge are analogous to the soil. If you do not know how to deal
with conflict in a constructive way, for example, your love, being the seed,
will not grow well and may even die.
The seed cannot grow by itself. It needs healthy soil. Skills
and knowledge are necessary in order to sustain and strengthen that love. Sure
you love one another, but do you have the skills and knowledge to sustain and
nurture this love?
The assignments concerning the theological aspects of
marriage are also required and necessary because you cannot say yes to something
you may not fully understand. As you know, Marriage is a Sacrament, and unless
you understand this dimension you cannot participate in it. For those of you who
are not Catholic, our intention is your education regarding how we Catholics
approach and understand marriage. Our purpose is not to indoctrinate or convert
you. We respect your faith tradition regardless of what it is.
We want couples to be happy and healthy, and these
assignments are the least we can do. Please take advantage of them and allow
them to authentically engage and challenge you.
Matrimonial Consent
